South Bound & Down
Fansided

SEC to Invite Service Academies to Join Conference

By Michael Collins

facebooktwitterreddit

The SEC is once again pondering expansion, and as his first big move as commissioner-elect, Greg Sankey will reportedly offer an invitation to all three service academies.

Live Feed

Ohio State vs. Notre Dame matchup history: Previous meetings, records
Ohio State vs. Notre Dame matchup history: Previous meetings, records /

FanSided

  • NCAA Basketball Recruiting: Analyzing top 6 teams for 4-star Chase McCartyBusting Brackets
  • NCAA Basketball Recruiting: Analyzing potential contenders for 4-star Rakease PassmoreBusting Brackets
  • Who is playing college football tonight, Sept. 21?FanSided
  • NCAA Basketball Recruiting: Analyzing top 4 teams for 5-star F Asa NewellBusting Brackets
  • Colorado football ratings dwarf college football powerhousesFanSided

    • Unconfirmed reports have informed Southbound and Down that Sankey would like all three service academies — Army, Navy and Air Force — to join the ranks of the SEC, and to become part of the conference’s planned expansion and realignment.

    According to our source, Sankey was quoted as saying “Perhaps the reason the service academy programs have suffered is because they just aren’t getting any real competition any longer. They got bored beating up Notre Dame and Big Ten schools, and basically just let their football and basketball programs go flat.”

    Sankey said that joining the SEC would bolster not only the revenues of the conference, but would also increase the visibility of SEC sports worldwide.

    “We’ve got the best sports programs in the world,” Sankey said. “It’s time that the rest of the world saw what American collegiate sports is all about. I’d hate them to think that we all played like the NFL or something. Those guys are pansies!”

    There has been no response from any representative from the three service academies. When asked for comment, President Barack Obama said, “Our military guys play sports? Wait, who’s paying for this? Are they registered for Obamacare?… because you know, you can get hurt playing sports and doctors can be expensive.”

    Per Sankey’s plan, the three service academies would join the SEC East, with Vanderbilt and Kentucky moving over to the SEC West.

    According to an unnamed Vanderbilt official, the Commodores will vow to secede from the SEC if this happens. “No way are we going to get our butts kicked by those service academy guys AND the other SEC schools. I’d just assume play in the FCS. No…wait. Scratch that. Don’t want to lose there either.  How much do independent FBS teams make anyway?”

    The plan is set to be put in motion as soon as everyone reading this purchases an iceberg from me and watches the pigs flying by their windows.

    Happy April Fools, and enjoy your day!!

    More from Southbound and Down

    Home/SEC News