Florida Football: 10 Things More Likely Than Treon Harris Starting At Quarterback

We have a tradition at Southbound and Down of occasionally putting out satirical articles.  Treon Harris, the quarterback for the Florida football team, is our next unfortunate topic.

Florida football, thy name is inconsistency.

Under Steve Spurrier and Urban Meyer, Florida football has collected SEC Championships and National Titles.  Under their replacements (Ron Zook and Will Muschamp), Florida football has been mediocre or worse.

Jim McElwain is trying to repeat the success of Spurrier and Meyer.  If he is going to do just that, he will absolutely need a new starting quarterback.  Treon Harris will have to battle Purdue transfer Austin Appleby, walk-on transfer Luke Del Rio, true freshman Feleipe Franks and incoming freshman Kyle Trask.

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While none of those names excite me, I know one thing for sure.  Treon Harris will not be the quarterback for the Florida football team in 2016.  In fact, I can think of some outlandish things that are more likely than one of the other quarterback NOT becoming the starter for Florida football.

1. Mark Richt will say a bad word about Georgia.
2. Houston Nutt will not declare interested in a division 1 football opening.
3. Lou Holtz will competently analyze a college football game.
4. Lee Corso will competently analyze a college football game.
5. Brock Huard will competently analyze a college football game.
6. SEC football fans will be excited to hear Gary and Verne are calling their game.
   1. Just a sidenote here:  If you don’t get the reference, please check-in your fan card on the way out.  You clearly don’t watch very much SEC football.
7. Florida football fans will support the Miami Hurricanes, Florida State Seminoles, Tennessee Volunteers, and Ohio State.
8. Donald Trump will be looked at as sympathetic to minorities.
9. Hillary Clinton will hit the whip and nae nae.  Wait, she already has.  I mean that she’ll do it adequately.
10. Barack Obama will run for a third term.

More sec: 5 Biggest Questions Facing the Florida Gators in 2016

Just don’t ask me to predict who the next starter will be.  I think there will still be Florida football fans yearning for the days of Grier in 2016.