NCAA basketball FBI investigation: zombie apocalypse

The FBI has uncovered scandalous recruiting practices in college basketball. Reality check. That’s not news, and it won’t matter anyway.

Back away from the ledge, NCAA basketball fans. Basketball isn’t going anywhere.

The FBI probe into cash payments to players and shoes and who knows what else isn’t going to shutter any gyms. It’s just fodder for the hyperbole bin that is sports reporting.

Consider the widely circulated Yahoo coverage provided by Pete Thamel of Yahoo Sports.

“The breadth of potential NCAA rules violations uncovered is wide enough to fundamentally and indelibly alter the sport of college basketball.”

Federal judge orders NCAA basketball to permanently lower rims to six feet?

“The impact on the sport will be substantial and relentless.”

Like replay review?

“The material obtained threatens the fundamental structure and integrity of the sport.”

Wait. Integrity?

Reality check

Let’s catch some reality. First, the same people conducting the NCAA investigation spent government money figuring out Russians mess with American elections.

Second, we aren’t going to see the NCAA basketball-back-breaking information – at least not the information that we want to see.

When Pete Thamel of Yahoo sports asked former federal prosecutor and Columbia Law professor Daniel Richman when information from federal investigations is released, he said, “Sometimes never.”

With one FBI agent central to the investigation accused of spending government money on gambling, food and beverages during the investigation, the case has already lost credibility. You can believe the defense lawyers are just warming up.

More bombshell reports

Southbound and Down’s Jake Mitchell, sees things differently. “This isn’t the limited evidence-gathering authority and power of the NCAA. This is the FBI.”

Fingers are being pointed at the NCAA basketball elite.

“It’s not the mid-major programs who were trying to buy players to get to the top,” a source told ESPN. “It’s the teams that are already there.”

Let’s check in on NCAA basketball reality again. Syracuse has had over 100 games vacated since 2004. The list of schools forced to vacate wins because of NCAA violations includes Michigan, Ohio State, Minnesota, UCLA, Arizona, Memphis, FSU, Kentucky and Florida. Not mid-majors. The already-there cheat, too.

Quiet voices of reason

It’s not all zombie apocalypse in the press, and reasonable voices speak. Listen close

“We know the feds are invested in exposing corruption in college basketball. What we don’t yet know is their ultimate target, their projected timetable or the sheer scale of their investigation,” said Tim Sullivan, Louisville Courier Journal

Bingo.

All we know is the FBI has discovered NCAA basketball recruiting is corrupt, and the Russians are messing with us. We learned both in fourth grade.

You might see Tennessee-Chattanooga as a No. 2 seed

NCAA basketball survives

Worst case scenario, the NCAA throws 50 or 100 hundred basketball programs in the NCAA hoosegow. Over 300 colleges play Division I basketball, and over half a million boys play high school basketball. Quite a few of them are quite good. No one’s going to shut down the basketball factories. No one’s going to lock up the gyms. Fans are going to cheer for the boys wearing their colors, and there will be more than enough really good players to make for a fun time this March and every March after.

A laughing matter

A source briefed on the investigation laughed, “You might see Tennessee-Chattanooga as a No. 2 seed.”

The Mocs are 9 and 19, people, so yea, that’s a laugh.

Next: Andy Kennedy loses to destiny

Either way, the man can’t stop the ballin’ anymore than he can stop the Russians.