The Freeze Effect: 10 Things More Likely Than Freeze Having a Red Zone Offense

If you’re not a fan of satire or sarcasm, you may want to view another article on this site

This weekend we published a list of things more likely than Mark Richt winning a big game. In particular, we focused on the 0.00% chance he had of beating Alabama Saturday. Yeah…all 30 of those things still look more likely after Richt and his Bulldogs got absolutely rocked Between the Hedges.

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It appears that our readers are quite fond of satire and sarcasm, so I figured we’d keep the posts coming. The inspiration was not hard to find this week, either. Since Hugh Freeze has been at Ole Miss, his red zone efficiency has been atrocious. Whether it has been 300+ pound quarterbacks (Jeremy Liggins) thinking they could ram it in or using a backup quarterback and peewee shenanigans against Alabama (the Ryan Buchanan play), Freeze knows his offense lacks the ability to punch it in.

He has tried to be creative…and it has generally failed. At times he has driven Rebel faithful insane, appearing to have the play calling acumen of a drunk frat star playing NCAA on his PlayStation.

So what things are more likely than Freeze finally having an efficient red zone offense?

1. Dan Mullen will finally get some sleep (worth the click on the link)

Nov 15, 2014; Tuscaloosa, AL, USA; Mississippi State Bulldogs head coach Dan Mullen reacts during a press conference following their 25-20 loss to the Alabama Crimson Tide at Bryant-Denny Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Marvin Gentry-USA TODAY Sports

2. Tom Brady will be seen as a rules savant

3. Roger Goodell won’t be booed at the NFL Draft

4. The Joshua Dobbs-Charlie Villanueva lookalike comments will stop

5. Charlie Strong will get a raise

6. Bobby Petrino will be loved in Arkansas, Atlanta, Western Kentucky…..

7. Steve Spurrier will not get Arby’s when he goes to Birmingham

8. Darren McFadden will be the only healthy Dallas Cowboy….o wait

9. Paul Finebaum will actually say something insightful about a football game

10. Mark Richt will win a big game that people expect to be competitive

Next: Biggest Takeaways from the SEC (Week 5)

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